Tally Ho!

No helmets

30/3/10 3 in 15 km

No warning (bell / 'passing')

30/3/10 n/a

I'm keeping score

Recently, I've noticed an increasing number of cyclists wishing to become organ donors. So, I've started to keep score. This should cheer up people waiting for organs.

No helmets = 5 (4 hour cycling)

Some cyclists are competing with some car drivers in the "Lack of Courtesy" stakes. It must be an Open event. Is there a "handicap" available? If so, who should get it? Cyclist or car driver? These riders whizz past me going full pelt in the same direction without ringing their bell (legally, they should have one). They do not call: "passing" or indeed even a simple "hey, up". And, yes, folks, these are NOT adolescents or young adults. One even looked like a baby boomer!

I don't count anyone under the age of 25 in this part of my survey, as research has shown that the human brain is not fully matured until about 25, so decision making and predictive skills can be poor until then. Any cyclist under 25 I give them 'benefit of the doubt' on this criteria! But this does NOT apply in the "no helmets" category - as it is the law to wear a helmet in Australia.

Mostly, the cyclists who cannot bear interrupt the sound of the whirr of their wheels with a noise greater than 50 decibels wear lycra. My mother would have called them "likely lads". Most likely to ...

They've got a lot to lose if they have an accident - all that muscle fitness and good looks, endorphins, and so much to gain - months in hospital, rehab, broken bones, flab. But, somehow it will be my fault (or, will it?) because I didn't see them in my rear view mirror. I've noticed some cyclists don't bother with mirrors, and these certainly seem unfashionable (except perhaps vanity mirrors) with the lycra set - do they weigh too much for those taut muscles?

Score today:

No bell etc. when passing = 3 (4 hours cycling)

For the readers' information (is there more than one? or, indeed even one? post a comment if you are out there and reading this!), I do wear lycra. Mines black with a lovely watermelon pink stripe. So, I've got nothing against the fabric per se, it's a wonderful byproduct of the petrochemical industry. Rather I use it in the sense that it is commonly used - to define a group of cyclists with a certain attitude of mind.

From Carrie Trike

Do all cyclists have brains?

After a long, humid summer, the weather in Coffs has become a little cooler. Throngs of cyclists were out and about today. At the markets, on the cycle paths and roads. At the end of a long ride, my partner and I saw a family on an outing. Picture this:

Hubby on bike, with a young child (probably under 8) wobbling by on a tiny bike. Mum trailing somewhat in the rear, with 2 unleashed dogs excited to be with their pack weaving in and out of the group.

My partner and I politely held back from the group as they straggled from the cul-de-sac (Wingfield Close) we were all in and onto the cycleway. I said "You go ahead. We'll wait." to Mum. She replied, "No, you go, I'm waiting for my son." The child was nowhere to be seen. Later, my partner said her son was only slightly older than the other child.

We proceeded onto the cycleway along the bushy, but short, access path. It was then I realised Dad was not going along the cyclepath but rather crossing Hogbin Drive with his pack. But, he was NOT a being a good pack leader. He did not gather all his pack together before crossing, so, poor, faithful dogs were left to cross this busy road on their own.

A screech of brakes later, one doggy was saved a nasty, painful death and myself, partner and his children the sight of their fond family pet being turned into road pizza on a bright, sunny day. Why, oh, why?

Dad was oblivious as he bleated to doggie to "SIT" from the other side of the road. Fortunately, a confused doggy hesitated, not knowing whether to sit or follow its pack, and this and the good reaction time of a kind driver saved its life. Could have been one of the kids for all dad seemed to care.

Dad had a lead for each dog in his hand. We cycled away as fast as possible, desperately trying to eliminate the vision of what could have happened to doggy and driver. Last sighted, Dad was unenthusiastically leashing his dogs.

We are dog lovers. Dogs are our loyal servants. Dogs will follow their pack to the point of exhaustion and even, death, rather than be left behind. We left our 3 dogs at home safe and sound in a fenced backyard. Dogs on leashes running beside bikes don't mix in our opinion.

Children under the age of 10 do not have the visual perception skills to ride on the road. They cannot judge speed or distance of approaching vehicles, and do not have the predictive thinking skills to ride on the road. They should be on a tag-a-long or in a bike trailer.

What are others views?

The Theory of Big (or, How to claim your space on the road)

The views expressed below are those of the writers themselves, and do not reflect the opinions or position of Coffs Harbour BUG or Bicycle NSW in any way.

When I restarted cycling at the age of 50+, I searched the Net looking for safety tips for cyclists. That's when I first saw the article reproduced below. Every now and then I come back to it. I love the author's style and sense of humour. His ideas really give a cyclist something to think about. I have taken the liberty of copying the article to our Bug site as smaller sites have a habit of disappearing overnight. The article is written by a British cyclist. I hope you enjoy the article as much as I do. From Carrie Trike.

My Aussie experience of the Theory of Big
by Carrie Trike (c) 2010

In a previous life, I developed my own Theory of Big. At the time, I was working at Auburn (centre of Sydney, Australia) and drove daily in peak hour traffic. The route included Victoria Rd, Silverwater Rd and Parramatta Rd. Yee ha, Grandma! Mr. Toad would have loved it. Poop! Poop!

The icing on the cake were the semi-trailers that lined up to collect their loads after the O/N (overnight) run from Brissy (Brisbane) or Melbourne. The light industrial area with all its accompanying trucks was a piece of cake in comparison! The drive took 45 minutes. There were 17 sets of traffic lights in 13 km. It would have been good training for the Bathurst 500 except the cars went in all directions.

I had a small car - a Corolla Hatch which had to be off the road for 6 weeks due to an argument it had lost with a car on my left. This car had gone through a Stop sign in a desperate attempt to get to know my car better. A friend offered me the loan of a Nikki (a Fiat Bambino rebadged by the Polish - a tiny, tinny car) for the duration of the Corolla's stay in hospital. My friend rode his BMW motor-bike to work in preference to the Nikki. This should've been my first clue. That he'd won the Nikki in a raffle was my second clue. He held the Nikki in such high-esteem that it was currently used to store his dogs' food (True!). My third clue. It was waiting to be driven to his hobby farm near Bathurst. It was covered in cobwebs such was his hesitation to usher it over the Blue Mountains and west to Bathurst. No more clues were necessary.

Despite knowing all this, I accepted his offer. What can I say? That I was desperate?

When I sat in the driver's seat for the very first time, my fears were confirmed. The top of my head (I'm 161 cm short) touched the inside of the roof, and the roof wobbled each time my head touched it. Such was the musicality of the sounds it made that it would have put Rolf Harris' wobble-board playing to shame.

Foolishly, I rejected my friend's offer of the loan of a motor-bike helmet as I drove away. The image was too ridiculous to contemplate - me driving this car with a full-face helmet? I was a school teacher, what would the kids think, let alone jeer as I drove into the high-school car park?

"Do you wear your helmet visor up or down, miss?" No, the image of me driving this car with a helmet was too ridiculous to contemplate.

As I careened to a halt at the first Stop sign I came to, I realised, the sweat trickling off my palms and onto the steering wheel (yes, it had one), that the brakes worked but not all that well. And they were definitely not ABS. Had the Poles heard of disc brakes? I pondered. Or, were these rear drum brake only, like my first car (a 1952 Morris Minor 850)? Sadly, I knew the answer as I thought the question. My stomach churned.

Later, I was to dwell on the eternal dilemma: "Why, in our society, are we prepared undertake risky behaviour for the sake of social conformity?" Me, who won't park the car in the home garage without putting on my seat belt first but I wouldn't put on a helmet in this tin can of a car. I found my understanding of the 17 year old hoons I taught deepening in leaps and bounds. At the time, I was 40+ and the mother of two small children yet I chose to take the risk rather than risking the derision.

During the ensuing 6 weeks, I developed my own Theory of Big and it worked! I survived the next 8 years of peak hour traffic without mishap! (from Carrie Trike)

The Theory of Big (a British viewpoint)

"From our earliest days we have been indoctrinated by this nation's pathological love affair with the motor car. As a hangover of the class system of antiquity, we, the unfortunate possessors of a healthy mind and body, are bombarded daily with the mistaken view that roads are for cars. Driven, sometimes literally, off the roads by our fellow citizens in steel boxes, we begin to realise that never before in history have so many been subject to so much machinery.

It's not just using the cars that is a problem. Without the resources to house their cherished possessions properly, our social betters see fit to leave the stabling of their salary-sucker to be a stumbling block for the rest of us, whether it be on the pavement or on the Queen's highway.

So, from where does the problem come? Deep within the subconcious of every British citizen is the acceptance of the motor vehicle's priority on the roads, fortunately with no basis in law. 'Roads were made for cars' is a common refrain that exemplifies the convoluted thinking that carbon monoxide and benzene can induce.

There is the self-belief that any person who dares to shrug off their carapace and emerge naked to their environment on the road is some bicycling Baldrick or a forelock tugging "yer 'umble servant, sir". Such types as are fit only to be driven off the road at the whim of Mr Toad as he goes past on his more important journey. 'Poop poop!' and a cloud of exhaust are all that remain as he thunders off into the distance whilst you pull yourself out of the hedge. Never mind that roads were created for people to use for transport (not for people to use as car parks).

How does one claim one's space on the road without the support of a herd of highland cattle? This is where the Theory of BIG comes in.

Life on the roads is a power struggle. Not of physical ability, but of psychology with roots in the antiquity of animal behaviour.

The late twentieth century Homo sapiens (the nomenclature comittee is revising the specie's classification), unlike the rest of the animal kingdom, has been stripped of its evolutionary heritage. There are no natural displays of preening or prowess that are socially acceptable so we have subverted transport to be our display of BIG. If we have a display that is more BIG than the other guy then we win. He backs off. We get the girl (at least that is what the advertisements say). This isn't quite true. One can display a generally fit, healthy body in best evolutionary manner, but not when sat inside a car.

Beer drinking, pay packet, driving prowess, prettyness of girlfriend. All these are lads' new evolutionary power struggles. And the most insidious of these is transport.

Ever heard a group of company reps talking? 'I was doing 100 in the outside lane when a rep-mobile GT pulls up behind me and wants to overtake. No way, cos I've got a rep-mobile GTX and there's no way I'd let a mere GT go past me'. Loss of BIG you see. All psychological. Willing to be a stupid git to out psyche someone he's never met and probably will never see again. All to boost his self-BIG.

But how does this work out when you are on a bike and I am in a car. Surely you lose by default?

Not at all. BIG in transport terms is partly about what you drive and partly about how good a driver you are. And the drivers have already lost to the cyclists. Every time you pass a car in a traffic jam his BIG shrinks. You have just told him by your presence that despite all his prowess at driving and super smart car, you are still getting from A to B faster than him. Ouch, that hurts.

And appearance counts too. A scratch on your shiny new year's model Fraud Mundano GLTXi turbo is like turning up to a formal dinner in shorts and a baggy-T. Unthinkable. It says 'even though I have a great car I am a crap driver'. And cyclists do a lot of damage when you hit them. They have lots of sharp sticky out bits that can remove wing mirrors or scratch body work. Definitely to be avoided.

He will remember this. So remind him. Say 'I've got more BIG than you' as you take your rightful place on the road and let him be subservient to you. You get the girl. He gets a heart attack. After all, you can wear lycra and get away with it and he has to suffer with a shirt on a coathanger.

But driving prowess is what leads the macho rep to only leave 6 inches from wing mirror to cyclist as he brushes past. So good he can hold a line that close, preferably the faster the better. Obviously, he has to allow you the space that you use on the road, as hitting you means he loses face. And how much space you for something on the road depends on how BIG it is.

BIG isn't about how large you are but about how large you seem. The rules of BIG are very simple. Be visible. Be noticed. Be in the way. Be expensive. The more BIG you have, the more space needs to be left.

Ever seen a car brush past a moving, wobbly, deferential Baldrick-on-a-bike with a scant hands breadth to spare, only to leave room for a double decker bus to pass between it and the skip further down the road? BIGger things need a BIGger distance when you pass it.

Be visible.

If they don't see you they won't remember to bow down and worship the ground you pedal over. So be seen. BIG things to wear are solid bright colours. Prefereably big and baggy so they flap a bit. Gives a bit more uncertainty where the edge is. Broken patterns and suchlike are not BIG. They merge with the transport background and break up your outline to a lot of SMALL rather than one BIG.

Wide tyres, wide panniers, anything to make the bike BIG. And don't forget to signal. Makes drivers take a bit more notice. BIG signals with BIG eye contact. 'I am turning right, just see if I don't'.
Be noticed.

Just another bicyclist? Not me mate. I'm different. You'll notice me. A trailer on the back. It has it's own BIG from it's size, but it hits what passes for the driver's brain more because they are not used to it. Different is BIG. A recumbent or a tandem is BIG. Heck, even riding along with a silly hat on or a dinosaur with wings is pretty BIG. A child seat and 'Baby on Board' sticker is also good.

Another trick is to wobble slightly. If you look unsafe on a bike (it takes a lot of practice to get a really good wobble going) then they will notice you more, increasing your BIG. And movement across the field of vision is BIGger than movement towards or away.

Be in the way.

OK, how much room do you need to ride a bike on the road? The least I have ever used was about four inches from kerb to wheel whilst being brush-passed by a juggernaught at 40+mph (64+kph). Big laundry bill that day.

But how much do you really need to be a law abiding cyclist? Try this. Ride along at your normal distance from the edge of the road. Now open up your Highway code and do a proper left turn signal. Thats right, arm straight out. If you are really BIG then you won't have slapped the pedestrian waiting to cross at the lights around the face by accident, or wrapped your elbow around the Belisha beacon*. There you go. A minimum is so you can perform legal signals and still be totally on the road.

OK, so you are now a bit further out, maybe further than you are used to. And now you discover something. BIG things stick out further into the road than little things. And BIG things need more room. And strangely enough, the more room you take up, the more space cars leave for you!

Broadly speaking, cars will leave you as much room as you leave yourself so keep out from the edge of the road about the same distance you want cars to keep out from you.

This is only a guideline. Sometimes you will have left just enough room for the driver to sneak through without having to alter course and you still get brush-passed. Not what you want. So move out a bit more. Enough so he has to conciously move around you. If you have to be steered around then you are really BIG and need to be left more space. About level with the front nearside wing, just inside the wheel track that has been nicely swept clean of broken indicator and windscreen glass and other motor effluent that the master race deem the peasant classes worthy of riding over.

Now put the boot on the other foot. Imagine you are the victim of a cruel conspiracy and are forced to transport yourself inside a glass and metal cage everywhere. You come to a road junction where you have to give way. Where are you looking? At the cars of course.

So, thankfully reverting to uncaged mode, where do you want to be to be seen? Where people are looking! Yup, and they are looking at the line of cars so you want to be tucked right up against the pavement ... not! Get into the line of sight and you will be seen. Stay out of it and you won't be. People see BIG things. BIG things are what people see. BIG is in the line of sight.

Now of course one doesn't need to get in the way if the road is plenty wide enough to share, but only when it is uncomfortably narrow for Mr Toad to steer his fume conditioned three-piece-suite-in-a-tin alongside you without giving you the space you need.

Cowering in the dirt and potholes of the gutter, your body language screaming 'I am not worthy, O great infernally combustioned one. Chastise me for presuming to use this road and taking a mere second of your time for that urgent trip down the corner shop for a packet of fags and the Sunday paper. It is my just reward if I am left bleeding and injured amongst the remains of my bicycle as you continue your blissful journey onwards.' is not a particularly BIG attitude, but it is what our autocracy would have you believe.

Let me tell you a secret: They are not telling the truth.

Be expensive.

Running over a child is still frowned upon in this society. Having to admit you ran a child on a bike off the road is a bad thing for your BIG. What an excuse for having children? No, but a child seat is a useful accessory for carrying the shopping and if you have a nice high-backed one the cars can't see there is no child in it until they are past.

On the other hand, wearing a police uniform (when allowed to, of course!) is about as BIG as you can get. Wait a few months till the bike police are out in force and then go get your black and white helmet with POLITE written on it and your bright yellow jacket with reflective stripes...

Have you ever wondered why so many people ride motorbikes whilst wearing 'Hell's Angels' type denim jackets or leathers? Well, imagine what would happen if you carved one of these salubrious characters up in your car.. not a pretty sight? So you leave them plenty of space. The consequences of hitting them are quite BIG.

The scale of BIG

BIG calculator

Add up the relevant sections below and see what your own BIG is:

Cyclist type

Uniformed policeman on a bike 10
Tricycle, Bike with trailer 8
Well lit, visible touring cyclist at the right distance from the kerb 6
Well lit, visible touring cyclist at the kerb 3
Unlit cyclist at night (no cycle friendly law) 1
Unlit cyclist in long black coat creeping along the pavement in a university town 0

Bicycle type

Road Racing bike 0
Mountain bike 1
Bike with panniers fitted 2
Recumbent bike/Tandem 3
More than two wheels (Tricycles, trailers etc) 4
Any bike with no rear lights at night 1
Any bike, no rear lights or reflectors 0
Bonus for any number >1 of bright (>=10W) lights at night (to a maximum of 4) 1

Clothing

No reflectives at night time 0
Dark 'natural' clothing 0
Bright jazzy patterned clothing 1
Bright solid colours/Good reflectives at night 2
Stark naked 2

Position

Taking a narrow lane 4
Creeping along the kerb 0
Just outside the car wheel tracks (medium road) 1
Just inside the car wheel tracks (medium road) 3
On a shared use path 0 (I'd give you minus if I could!)

Add it all up and get a score out of ten.

Your rating:

0-2 Imminent Road Kill
3-5 Bicycling Baldrick
6-8 Effective Cyclist
9-10 Road Warrior

Where do I rate? Somewhere between 8 and 10 depending on circumstances (I just got some super bright headlamps and it depends whether I take the trailer or not)."

Theory of BIG copyright (c) David Martin 1998

* A Belisha beacon is an orange globe lamp on top of a tall black and white pole, marking pedestrian crossings of roads in the U.K., Ireland, Singapore and Hong Kong. (Source: Wikipedia)

World's top 10 greatest cycling routes

SMH November 11, 2009 For discussion only and non-profit use

There's no better way to explore a place than by bike. Lonely Planet names the top 10 trips that should be on every cyclist's wish list.

OTAGO PENINSULA, NEW ZEALAND

With the first half decidedly laid-back and the second portion anything but, the mix of scenery and sweat make this one of the best one-day rides in the country. Starting from university-town Dunedin you soon shed the trappings of the city and succumb to the lure of the open road. The serpentine route twists pleasantly along the shore, providing tremendous ocean views, and the terrain is made for cycling. Then suddenly there's a sharp turn to the right and you're gaining altitude like a climbing fighter-jet. Get ready for steep climbs, fast descents and the odd albatross to keep you company.

CAPE BRETON ISLAND, CANADA

This justifiably renowned cycling route is best-known for the scenery – breathtaking rocky coastlines, the crystal clear Bras d'Or inland sea and the soaring ridges of the Cape Breton Highlands – especially in their autumn colours. But adventure-seekers will also be satisfied as gently rolling hills become invigorating mountains with some tough climbs and heart-thumping descents. Combined with local wildlife (such as beavers, moose and deer), quaint fishing villages, an intriguing Gaelic culture grown from French-Scottish roots and plenty of fresh ocean breezes, Cape Breton is the whole package.

FRIULI-VENEZIA GIULIA, ITALY

By cycling the often overlooked, yet spectacular, far reaches of the northeast corner of Italy, you have the opportunity to intimately discover this earthy region. Along roads that make for easy pedalling, Slovenian farmers tend their fields in the strong sun, rows of vines cling to voluptuous hill country, and you smell the freshly tilled earth and feel the wind cool the sweat from your face. Then in the evenings, relax in a piazza to sample the region's famous white wines and join the laidback locals for a chat. The route's icing on the cake is the final scenic jaunt down the Istrian coast.

ISLE OF WIGHT, ENGLAND

The Isle of Wight is a cycling paradise that is home to some of the UK's most varied terrain: lush velvet hills rolling into the sea, narrow lanes through tidy hedgerows, deep and mysterious green gullies, and the island's most striking feature, the ridge of white chalk cliffs stretching across its breadth. Although cyclists have been enjoying its outdoor pleasures for decades now, it's only been in recent years that Wight has started to attract young and trendy Londoners looking for a romantic weekend by the sea with a buzz – which gastropubs, slick hotels and a calendar full of festivals now provide.

WEST COAST TASMANIA, AUSTRALIA

By right, Tasmania should be too small to have huge pockets of wilderness, but untouched and untamed lands stretch along its fierce west coast. Cycling land this wild should not come easily and it doesn't, with the hill climbs queuing one after the other – you will notice them but not as much as the scenery, which takes in Tasmania's most famous mountain (Cradle Mountain), its cutest coastal town (Strahan), its highest waterfall (Montezuma Falls) and its most beautiful lake (Lake St Clair), all on highways that feel at times like back roads.

LUBERON AND MONT VENTOUX, FRANCE

Tackling hilly Luberon with a touring load might seem crazy, but several hundred kilometres of well-signed bike paths render it very enjoyable, as do ancient Roman ruins, medieval chateaux and ambrosial wines. This sun-drenched corner of Provence is a mix of manicured vineyards and ancient villages tumbling haphazardly down rocky slopes. Cool pine forests and blue fields of lavender stretch away on either side of the road. But the real goal here is legendary Mont Ventoux, scene of several Tour de France dramas, dominating the landscape and silently luring cyclist-pilgrims to its summit.

SAN JUAN ISLANDS, WASHINGTON, USA

The ferry conveying you and your trusty steed from Seattle or Anacortes weaves its way calmly, the perfect introduction to the slow, peaceful character of these islands. Awaiting you are forested shorelines, secluded coves, bucolic vistas and quiet roads. The three largest islands, Lopez, Orcas and San Juan, each have their own distinctive charm, with historic sites and art galleries. The terrain is hilly, but each can be cycled in a day, including plenty of time to watch for seals, otters, sea lions and the odd orca, or black-tailed deer and eagles further inland.

COUNTY CLARE, IRELAND

Beginning in fertile lowlands flanking the Shannon estuary, this route rolls past golden-sand beaches to the dramatic Cliffs of Moher facing the Atlantic. Next come the music hotbed towns of Milltown Malbay and Doolin, where you enter a pub only if you're in for the long haul – leaving before the last song is sung seems a monstrous breach of etiquette. From here progress to the relentlessly grey, yet captivating, limestone expanse of the Burren, reminiscent of a lunar landscape. Then take a sojourn into Yeats' country before sauntering back in a loop through CountyClare's gentle patchwork countryside.

LA FAROLA, CUBA

Fascinating Cuba is a delight at helmet level. Try the spectacular 9km descent along the La Farola highway, from the crest of the Baracoa Mountains down to the south coast. The highway clings to cliffs hung in tropical vegetation, with guard rails protecting you from drop-to-nowhere gorges, before sweeping from one giant limestone ledge to the next, each turn providing a closer vista of wild open ocean. Built by the Revolutionary government, this magnificent mountain highway is an irresistible challenge for cyclists. Traditionally, the first stage of the Vuelta Ciclista Cuba (Cuba's answer to the Tour de France) is run over this route.

NATIONAL HIGHWAY 1, VIETNAM

This iconic road runs the length of the narrow country from north to south. It is the most popular cycling route in Vietnam, a long but immensely rewarding trip along the best parts of Vietnam's coastline. The route has some reasonable hills, climaxing in the mighty Hai Van Pass (496m) – with a breathtaking descent as pine-clad mountains loom to the west and the South China Sea vanishes into the east. Take the time along the way to gaze at networks of lush rice fields blanketing the hidden valleys below; fish, snorkel or dive the turquoise waters of the coast; and soak up the atmosphere of delightful rural hamlets.

Photos: Top 10 greatest cycling routes

This is an extract from Lonely Planet's Best in Travel 2010 – the best trends, destinations, journeys and experiences for the upcoming year – out now. © Lonely Planet Publications, 2009. $24.99

Princess Lycra and the Evil Delivery Man

This story equals those humorous pieces published in SMH. And by one of our own - thanks, Emma R.

Once upon a time in a magical land...

Princess Lycra was riding her enchanted bicycle through her kingdom in the early morning light as she oft did, with her magic AyUps spreading goodness and light on all before her, when all of a sudden, out of nowhere, appeared the evil newspaper delivery man (ENDM), swerving across the yellow brick road from this side to that side, dispatching his logs of tabloid diatribe into the gardens of the poor simple villagers.

Even though the ENDM saw the beautiful Princess Lycra heading towards him, he guided his carriage of evil directly across her path to satisfy his dastardly desires of newspaper ejection. At this wickedness, Princess Lycra was shaken but not stirred,and after applying her faithful Ultegra brakes she avoided the carriage of evil.
Princess Lycra, not being a candy arse, then cast a potent spell upon the ENDM as he passed by. The ENDM, upon hearing the Princess's spell, responded with an antispell of "can't you see I'm delivering papers". Of course this antispell was impotent against the enchanted Princess, who then cast another spell to turn him into a toad, of which he was already largely one.

The Princess continued on her way, but a quick glance behind revealed the ENDM performing a U turn, and again, not being a candy arse, the Princess also turned her enchanted bicycle to face whatever confrontation might be awaiting her. With her magic potions at the ready the all powerful Princess and the ENDM faced each other from 50 metres like knights about to joust. The tension rose as the combatants approached each other, and with the ENDM guiding his carriage of evil towards her with its dragon eyes ablaze, Princess Lycra was wishing she was wearing her enchanted body armour.

As both the moment of truth and the carriage of evil arrived, the Princess quickly cast a silent spell of apology on the toady ENDM. Of course the ENDM, completely overwhelmed by the spell, slowed and pulled up adjacent to the Princess. Now fully under the control of the Princess's spell, the ENDM apologised for getting in the way of such a wondrous and magical being. The Princess, being benevolent and compassionate, as well as clever and gorgeous, (and modest), accepted the ENDM's apology while also providing some spiritual guidance on the respecting of cyclists.

The Princess and the now 'not so toady ENDM' parted on good terms with the ENDM now understanding the correct protocols of road sharing. This was an unusual but pleasing outcome for the Princess who had grown weary of the evilness she often encountered.
The Princess was much relieved that the incident had ended so well, and without the unpalatable emotional aftertaste that sometimes follows one for the rest of one's journey.

Princess Lycra continued on her enchanted journey through her magical kingdom, accompanied only by the whizzing sound of her tyres upon the road of cycling satisfaction, and eventually covered 114km nonstop without any further clashes with the forces of evil.

The End

Emma R. 12/02/2010

Raise those pedals high! Push down and read on.

There have been lots of articles and letters about cycling in the illustrious Sydney Morning Herald recently. I thought it might be worth it to have some of them on our blogspot.
* Just a bit of fun - let's laugh at ourselves!
This ones about the virtues of lycra. How on earth do the millions of cyclists in China and India cope without it?
* Premier Kristina shows us how! Now, I must find a Paul...?
Does the NSW Premier use saddle-bags or a trailer, both, neither? Find out here.
* Cycling - a non-sexist activity
Bicycle NSW spokeswoman in damage control over Richard Birdsey's sexist remarks. Did he really say that?
* Cyclists ride by the rules!
Rules, what rules?
* What bike's best for commuting? Hmmm ...
A disgruntled Bicycle NSW member gives Richard Birdsey her opinion.
* The debate (cyclist vs motorist) rages on!
Sydney motorists eat cyclists for breakfast.
* Are cycleways the answer?
Everyone seems to agree cycling is a great way to commute, but where to put them - road, cycleway, footpath, underground, The River Styx?
* Do motorists really hate bikes?
Article about overseas trends compared to Sydney.
* Why are cyclists so despised by motorists?
Sydney motorists hate bikes (again!) So much pent up rage.
* Compulsory Helmet Controversy
Now, this is an interesting one. I've heard the argument before - wearing helmets just encourages risk taking. What do you think?

Just a bit of fun - let's laugh at ourselves!

Wannabe superheroes riding our streets
Author: CHARLES PURCELL
SMH March 22, 2010 - 1:07PM

Sydneysiders seem to have plenty of gripes about cyclists. Yet amid all the hubbub one rather obvious criticism seems to have been missed by most people. That is, their insistence on wearing skin-tight lycra. Memo to the shaved leg brigade: lycra belongs on superheroes, not cyclists.

Millions of cyclists in China, India and elsewhere around the world seem to get around perfectly without a figure-accentuating costume that might do Batman proud (the George Clooney Batman, who had nipples welded onto his rubber costume).

Nor do many female cyclists fancy braving the roads in the type of material that Wonder Woman might wear on her crime-fighting adventures, the cut of which is as prone to burst at the seams as the attire of a British female bobsleigh rider.

That leaves us with the Western male and his fantasies of omnipotence.

''‘Do you think their mummies never bought them a Spider-Man outfit?'' quipped one colleague as she raised the issue.

If there’s one thing those plums of Paddington and the buttocks cheeks of Balmain have in common, it's the love of lycra.

Seeing these cycling superheroes on the road, one half expects them suddenly to burst out of their costumes with a roar like the Incredible Hulk. Or perhaps accidentally unleash Thor's mighty hammer during a wardrobe malfunction.

There's no sign of Captain America, but Captain Annandale can often be spotted dispensing two-wheeled justice on the streets, his stars and stripes (or meat and two veg) on display.

Like Superman, they imagine that they're faster than a locomotive (if they're in the right gear), flying through lights on their way to the planet Peloton, leaving lesser mortals in their wake. Like Superman's alter ego Clark Kent, they wear their superhero uniform underneath their clothes, itching for the chance to rip off their merchant banker suits when the call for heroism comes.

They're no friends of the Phantom, the Ghosts Who Walks, because only suckers walk when you can ride a Ridley Helium like Tour de France hero Cadel Evans.

Sometimes you'll see the Cadel clones with their arms almost stuck out to accept beverages from passing civilians as if they're in the Tour de France, ready to down them in one, crush them in their mighty hands and then continue to race through small mountainous French villages that uncannily resemble inner-city Sydney.

The only thing missing from the superhero fixation is the cape, which is no doubt ruled out because it would get caught in the gears.

''Mate,'' my cycling friend will say, aggressively poking me in the chest with a tyre pump, ''maaate. What have got against cyclists, you car fascist? It's a healthy hobby and good for the environment. The road isn't just for cars. That lyrca prevents our thighs from chafing over long distances and absorbs sweat. My thighs can breathe in lycra.''

''Maaaaate,'' I’ll reply back, poking him back with a tyre iron from the back of my 4WD, ''I’ve got nothing against cyclists. I just don't fancy the sight of someone's lycra-clad basket sidling up to my window at the lights first thing in the morning. Surely lycra only belongs on superheroes. Do you think you're a superhero? Are you Batman?’’

He'll subconsciously adjust to a heroic pose, a frustrated champion living in a world that both scorns and mistrusts him, his sacred mission misunderstood. Somewhere across the city Commissioner Gordon will be shining the Bike Light into the sky, the silhouette of a Malvern Star appearing in the clouds, to alert him that the Joker is on the loose again.

''Batman was a DRIVER," he'll reply scornfully. "He should’ve traded the Batmobile for a Batcycle." He'll then look at my driver's physique scornfully. "And it wouldn’t hurt you to get on a bike and ride there,'' he'll add, with a final vicious blow to my stomach with the pump.

''But do you have to look like one of the backing dancers for Lady Gaga? Or Olivia Newton-John in the '80s?''

He'll pause for a long time, then say: ''Yes. Yes, we do, Mr Fat Man. Did I also tell you my buttocks are padded?''

I'm all for a city full of cyclists. But for god's sake, go and put some proper pants on. You're not Batman.

Charles Purcell is a Sydney Morning Herald senior writer.

Premier Kristina shows us how! Now, where's my Paul?

On your bike ... but don't forget the bodyguard
SMH Letters to the Editor March 22, 2010 For discussion and non-profit use only

The fact that the Premier, Kristina Keneally, receives police protection as she cycles to work is an indication of how dangerous it is to take to the road in Sydney on a bike (''Dream ride, but cycling still faces uphill battle'', March 20-21).

I was riveted by Matthew Moore's report of the way her escort, the ''beefy'' policeman Paul, intimidated aggressive motorists with his ''don't-argue hand signals and stay-where-you-are stares''.

I admire Ms Keneally for setting an example and cycling to work. I used to enjoy walking to work. But walking seems to have become an increasingly dangerous pursuit in Sydney because of the number of cyclists who, presumably too terrified to take to our roads, ride on our footpaths, often at speed and with nary a warning bell to signal their approach.

Perhaps the time has come for the Premier to consider the pleas of the lord mayor, Clover Moore who has long campaigned for a reduced speed limits.

Bill Hubble Pyrmont

Do others find it a little ironic that our Premier portrays herself as riding to work on a bicycle but doesn't show how the numerous trolleys of files that must follow her get around?

Nor does the Premier show herself stepping off her bike into a hot shower and then straight into set of freshly pressed clothes and a chauffeur-driven limo for the rest of the day.

It's about as tokenistic as the mostly unused multimillion-dollar bike lane beside the M7 which would require 3000 cyclists a day to ride the full 80-kilometre round trip just to offset the carbon dioxide produced from lighting it at night.

Dr Jon Jenkins Bogangar

Kristina Keneally says that since she took up riding to work more than a year ago she has never had an incident, dismissing the concerns of those cyclists who do regularly ride and do suffer from the aggression of Sydney drivers.

And now it is revealed that she has a beefy NSW policeman named Paul riding behind her full-time to protect her from the traffic.

Where do I obtain a Paul?

Tim Connors Coonabarabran

If Kristina Keneally can have a beefy NSW policeman to provide protection - ''a specialist in don't-argue hand signals and stay-where-you-are stares, he can stop any car from getting too close'' - why can't all cyclists have the same?

Sounds like a worthwhile bike accessory to me.

John Macleay Rozelle

Cycling - a non-sexist activity

SMH Letters to the Editor March 20 2010 For discussion and non-profit use only

Bicycles made for two genders

I would like to clarify Richard Birdsey's comment about upright bikes being ''designed for women'' (''Safety experts urge cyclists to sit up and take notice'', March 16). Mr Birdsey was pointing out that upright bikes were originally designed in Europe for women when women mostly wore skirts. The bikes advocated by the academic John Pucher are ideal for men and women.

Bicycle NSW's mission is to promote cycling in all its forms and it is regrettable that the position of the organisation has been misunderstood. Cycling is for everyone, regardless of age, fitness level or equipment. We encourage the use of any type of safe bicycle.

Elizabeth Hole Chief executive, Bicycle NSW, Homebush Bay

Cyclists ride by the rules!

Cyclists are welcome if they ride by the rules
SMH Letters to Editor March 19 2010
I agree with Grant Fraser (Letters, March 17), with the following amendments.

A bike is a legitimate vehicle and has every right to be on the road. With that right comes the legal obligation to observe all rules of the road, such as wearing a helmet, not riding on footpaths or across pedestrian crossings, giving way as appropriate and not running red lights.

The rules for cyclists are perfectly well defined, but poorly observed and even more poorly enforced. Motorists and cyclists have every right to be on the road and it is up to each to accommodate the other.

Phil Kanaley Glebe

What bike's best for commuting? Hmmm ...

Cyclists' spokesman should get on his bike
SMH Letters to the Editor March 18 2010 For discussion and non-profit use only

As (yet another) keen commuter cyclist, I found your report on the use of helmets and European-style bikes both heartening and depressing (''Safety experts urge cyclists to sit up and take notice'', March 16).

While the observations of those such as John Pucher give hope to cyclists (and, it may follow, to all commuters), the most disappointing salvo came unexpectedly from Richard Birdsey who, in two blunt sentences, did a great disservice to the organisation he is supposed to represent.

The stated mission of Bicycle NSW is to ''promote, advocate and support cycling in all its forms''. It would appear its vice-president has forgotten this pledge.

His claim - that only one type of bike belongs on Sydney roads - smacks of that snobbish Lycra-clad attitude that discourages newcomers to Sydney's growing bicycle movement.

In case there were any potential members not distanced by his remarks, he denounces European cycles as being designed ''for women''. How Birdsey believes he can make such a comment ''without sounding sexist'' defies logic. It sounds sexist because it is.

Tony Stock Lindfield

I felt like cancelling my Bicycle NSW membership when I read Richard Birdsey's disparaging and sexist comments.

Experts say the way to make Sydney more bike-friendly is to encourage more women cyclists, and many women prefer this style of bicycle. I have one with mudguards, a chainguard and rounded handle-bars. Mine has 24 gears, as many do. I easily tackle the hills riding to work from Bondi to the city. I also did last year's Sydney to Wollongong ride.

From where I sit, those inciting aggression on our roads are the mostly male speedsters on racing bikes who hog the road, arrogantly holding up buses and cars, instead of using the designated bicycle backroads. But I don't want to create further division.

Someone in Birdsey's positions should not do so either. He should embrace everyone in the cycling family, particularly women.

Rose Hesp Bondi Beach

The debate (cyclist vs motorist) rages on!

SMH Letters to the Editor March 17 2010

Bikes have every right to be on roads

Wrong on every count, Lindsay Foyle (Letters, March 15). First, there is no adequate level of road building. The more roads you build, the more people will drive, meaning all roads will be at gridlock eventually. Second, banning bicycles from main roads is absurd and illegal.

The Roads and Traffic Authority says a bike is a legitimate vehicle, and as such has a place on roads. Any attempt to assert otherwise would result in massive legal action. Cyclists have every right to ride on the road, it is up to motorists to accommodate them.

The road toll is caused overwhelmingly by motorists. Why is this accepted? If the aviation industry killed as many people as cars, it would be shut down. It is appalling that we accept such a level of carnage by cars, yet get up in arms about people cycling.

Grant Fraser Redfern

For Kevin Griffith (Letters, March 16) to break an arm in a cycling accident may be regarded as a misfortune; to break it twice looks like carlessness.

Philip Du Rhone Redfern

Are cycleways the answer?

SMH Letters to the Editor March 16 2010

Keep cyclists apart for all to be happy

As an avid cyclist who has spent many hours riding to and from work in Sydney and Melbourne, I was astounded to read that Sydney's drivers are considered more aggressive than the maniacs in Melbourne (Letters, March 15). Sure, the infrastructure in Sydney is miles behind that of Melbourne, but I believe Sydney's drivers are far less openly aggressive.

But what strikes me every day is that motorists have no idea how dangerous it is to cut off or intimidate a cyclist on a busy road. A simple bump and the person they were trying to scare ends up under a car, and the driver faces serious charges or civil action.

Drivers and cyclists needn't be mortal enemies - a bit of patience and some mutual respect would do us all the world of good.

Lachlan Spark Surry Hills

I am a 58-year-old cyclist. Since arriving in Sydney a little over a year ago I have twice broken my arm in cycling accidents. Both were caused, in part, by the poor road surface. To cycle on King Street, Newtown, is one of the most hair-raisingly dangerous experiences I can describe, with its uneven surface, ruts and potholes.

I have to tell Janese Boots (Letters, March 15) that I cycle on the footpath as often as possible.

I have frequently cycled past police officers, who clearly understand that cyclists do not belong among the cars. I have never been reprimanded by the police for cycling on the footpath.

I do not dislike pedestrians. Nor do I dislike motorists. I like safety.

Kevin Griffith Enmore

I am a motorist, a cyclist and a pedestrian, and when I am one, I dislike the other two. The only solution is to keep us away from one another. The best way to achieve that is for all three groups to come together to pressure the government into providing the solution. Let's work together to keep us apart.

Anthony Johnsen Marrickville

So basically everyone wants the same thing - separated cycleways. If you want bikes off the footpaths and out of the way of cars, give them their own space. Works everywhere else.

Alacoque Dash Ultimo

Do motorists really hate bikes?

Sydney: the city that hates bikes
MATTHEW MOORE
SMH March 13, 2010 For discussion and non-profit use only

Sydney is one of the developed world's most hostile cities for cycling, according to a US academic who spent a sabbatical year researching ways to boost bike-riding levels in the city.

''I did not cycle that often because I almost got killed several times - people cutting me off, squeezing me off the road and not stopping,'' John Pucher said of his efforts to ride to Sydney University from his Stanmore home.

''Whether I was a pedestrian or cyclist I found the level of the hostility of enough Sydney motorists worse than I had seen anywhere in the world.''

For decades Dr Pucher, from Rutgers University in New Jersey, has been riding bikes - from the cycling wonderlands of Amsterdam and Copenhagen to the car-choked streets of many US cities. But he was still stunned by his experience here.

''In Texas or in the south-east of the US it's aggressive but there was an incredible level of aggression from Sydney motorists … It's not every motorist but there were enough of them, whether it was resentment, irritability or just aggression, I don't know.''

In a paper to be published in the Journal of Transport Geography, Dr Pucher and two Australian colleagues explain why Sydney cycling levels lag much of the developed world.

Their paper compares cycling in Sydney and Melbourne and finds twice as many trips are made by bicycle in Melbourne as Sydney with the rate of trips in Melbourne growing at three times that of Sydney.

Dr Pucher says Melbourne's flatter terrain and lower rainfall alone do not explain why in hilly San Francisco the percentage of trips by bike has grown to 2.5 per cent, 3½ times Sydney's rate of 0.7 per cent.

More significant than topography is reducing aggression among motorists. Making cyclists, especially female cyclists, feel safer, is a job Melbourne has done much better than Sydney. Dr Pucher says women are a litmus test for cycling safety as many will ride only if they feel safe. Twenty-five per cent of commuting cyclists in Melbourne are women, but only 17 per cent in Sydney. In Denmark the figure is 45 per cent and in the Netherlands 55 per cent.

Still, he was impressed with the City of Sydney's spending $76 million on a 200-kilometre network of bike lanes. The Premier, Kristina Keneally, says that since she took up riding to work more than a year ago she has never had an incident. ''I see some drivers perhaps not being as aware of cyclists as they could be. That said, there are cyclists who take risks that I wouldn't.''

W hy are cyclists so despised by motorists?

Drastic changes needed to break vicious cycle
SMH Letters to Editor March 15, 2010 For discussion and non-profit use only

Who among us did not know that Sydney drivers are among the most aggressive on the planet (''Sydney: the city that hates bikes'', March 13-14)?

Imagine how different it could be if we were all a little more courteous and ignored our mobile phones, iPods, lipsticks and PCs while we drive. The pay-off would be immense. As has occurred in Melbourne, an increase in cyclists would result in a profound improvement in traffic flow.

Stephen Broderick Roseville

The suggested ways to make roads safer for cyclists are all reasonable but none addresses the biggest single cycling problem in Sydney, the narrow streets that are a legacy of the city's hilly terrain.

Norm Neill Darlinghurst

I am among the many Sydneysiders who dislike cyclists. However, I am not a motorist, but a pedestrian. I walk to and from work each day where I am nearly knocked down by cyclists on the footpath three to four times on each trip. While it may be hostile for cyclists on the roads, their decision to ride illegally on the footpaths is making it far more dangerous for pedestrians.

Janese Boots Cremorne

According to an expert in Saturday's Herald, we need more cyclists in Sydney.

If so, would it be possible to run an education program for the cyclists, to let them know that a red light means stop?

As a pedestrian near Town Hall, I take my life into my hands every day when I step onto the crossing because of the cyclists at the red light who think that their destination is more important than my health and safety.

I have seen what happens when a cyclist hits a pedestrian, and neither party comes out of it well.

Richard Goodwin Narara

Your article ''Sydney: the city that hates bikes'' is misleading.

The photo from Copenhagen depicts a ''no go'' area for motorised vehicles and clearly shows pedestrians and cyclists are not mixed, and that they are restricted to their own areas, while the Sydney photo of a cyclist riding between two lanes of traffic would not be permitted for cyclists in Copenhagen. That is the reason there is less hostility to cyclists in Copenhagen.

Peter Langer Manly

John Pucher is 100 per cent correct when he says Sydney drivers are the most aggressive in the world.

Each year as I set off to drive for a month or so in a foreign country, I leave behind worried relatives and friends telling me I am crazy. My trip over Christmas driving the length and breadth of Italy with only my 10-year-old daughter for company elicited pleas not to do so lest we become victims of ''those crazy Italian drivers''. However, driving in the eastern suburbs has prepared me for any situation any country can throw at me. All in a day's work is avoiding massive four-wheel-drives thundering towards me in tiny Paddington back lanes; perfecting front parks because the car behind me refuses to back up and let me reverse park; or out-smarting the driver who, realising you would like to merge, speeds up and then tailgates and beeps continuously when you have the audacity to do so.

Yes, the Italians may like to break rules, the Americans probably do carry guns in their gloveboxes and the Japanese can't understand you when you stop to ask directions, but at least for the most part they happily share their roads. I'm serious when I say that the roads of Sydney are not a safe place for anyone not trained and practised on them; and that is very sad.

Catherine Dixon Paddington

There is no mystery as to why "Sydney is one of the developed world's most hostile cities for cycling". The roads are totally inadequate for the volume of traffic trying to use them. It is no surprise that John Pucher said: "I almost got killed several times - people cutting me off, squeezing me off the road and not stopping." Even if people wanted to stop after a close encounter with a bike rider, most of the time there is nowhere to stop. And few bike riders seem to understand there are road rules, so it is really surprising more are not hurt than are now.

We are now in the 21st century and we are still using main roads built in the 1800s for the horse and cart. Other cities have better roads (and even freeways), built in the 20th century, and it is no surprise bike riders are safer riding on them. Until there are adequate roads for our level of traffic, it would be best to ban bike riders from all major roads. That would not be a popular with bike riders, but it would save a few lives.

Lindsay Foyle Stanmore

Compulsory Helmet Controversy

Safety experts urge cyclists to sit up and take notice
MATTHEW MOORE URBAN AFFAIRS EDITOR
SMH March 16, 2010 For discussion only and non-profit use

SYDNEY will never be a bicycle-friendly city until it develops a ''second cycling culture'' which encourages relaxed European-style riding without the compulsory use of helmets, experts have warned.

Instead of advocating racing bikes with drop handle-bars, or mountain bikes with flat bars, cycling groups should encourage the use of traditional upright European styles, often called Amsterdam bikes, to make cycling a mass, utilitarian activity where bikes are used for shopping, running errands and commuting.

John Pucher, a US professor at Rutgers University in New Jersey who has written a paper explaining why Sydney cycling levels are half those of Melbourne, believes scrapping two decade-old laws requiring all cyclists to wear helmets would encourage a lot more people on to bikes and provide an overall improvement in community health levels.

While he agrees helmets save lives in accidents, he said they were not compulsory in any city in Europe, where cycling injury rates were far lower than in Sydney, a city which he said had very aggressive attitudes to cycling and which needed to encourage a much higher use of pedal power. ''I would be in favour of doing away with the helmet use law for adults,'' he said.

Compulsory wearing of helmets was ''a Band-Aid strategy'' adopted by governments shying away from more difficult initiatives of building separated cycle ways, calming neighbourhoods and educating drivers and riders.

British research showed motorists drove closer to bike riders who wore helmets. There was also evidence helmet laws stigmatised cycling as dangerous and encouraged cyclists to take more risks and ride faster than they might otherwise.

His views were echoed by Mike Rubbo, a cycling blogger who has made more than a dozen short films about cycling. He says introducing the upright bikes used in Europe is the best way of creating a new cycling culture that would encourage slow cycling and a friendly ''come ride with me'' attitude.

''If we can get more people on this type of bike we will get rid of the monoculture of those people, bent down over the bars with sunglasses … who are happy on roads and don't want to share bikeways with slower riders,'' he said.

The owner of Concord Sports Store, Mike Ryman, said the ''more elegant, classic'' European style of bike was becoming increasingly popular for commuters in flatter areas where there were good cycleways.

The vice-president of Bicycle NSW, Richard Birdsey, said European bikes were not what local riders needed. ''Upright bikes are all well and good in low speed and flat environments, but I don't think they are suitable for what you have here in Sydney,'' he said. ''They are designed, without sounding sexist, for women.

''If you are moving in the serious traffic here you need something a bit quick, something you can throw around, something more performance oriented.''

He was also strongly in favour of retaining the helmet laws even though Australia and New Zealand were virtually the only countries with them.

''We don't have the same riding environment with the lower speeds, greater awareness of cyclists they have in Europe. We don't think we should be weakening those for anybody.''

Andrew McIntosh, associate professor at the University of NSW, is researching bicycle helmets and defended the laws as ''an incredibly cheap approach'' to improving safety.

While he agreed cyclists needed better facilities, he said these could be built without removing helmet laws.

Noughtie Cyclists

I came across this in the SMH. Thought it might amuse some. What about 6. The Trikies?

Prance Armstrong and Sydney's two-wheeled tribes
From: SMH January 2, 2010 For discussion only and non-profit use
Author: Matt Buchanan (SMH writer)
As cycling surges in popularity, a cursory look reveals the throng on two wheels is made up of several distinct tribes, writes Matt Buchanan.

IT is only now, over the summer holidays, as recreational riders merge with everyday riders into one whirring multicoloured throng, that you can really see how great a trend cycling became in the Noughties.

Throughout the decade Australians bought more bikes than cars. We now own about 1.4 million more bikes, compared with 1 million of their fossil-fuelled counterparts.

The number of people who chose cycling as their method of commuting boomed - by 2016, 5 per cent of all journeys to work are expected to be by bicycle, up from 0.8 per cent in 2006.

In November the NSW Government reacted to the numbers and the broad rise in community awareness of the environmental, health and practical benefits of pedal power by including a bike plan in its transport blueprint.

True, with this has come a periodic fist-shaking antagonism between the 9 to 30-kilogram bike and the two-tonne sedan or hatch - not to mention the 20-tonne truck.

Cyclists will tell you that cars collectively react to their entry onto the road just as antibodies do to pathogen in the bloodstream: by surrounding, subduing and destroying it. To which some motorists will say: Well - yes. Quite right, too.

Both groups dream of the safe segregation that widespread cycle paths would bring. But then the chairman of Bicycle NSW, Alex Unwin, thinks the rapid growth of cycling is precisely what will bring more cycle paths.

''We have reached a fundamental turning point,'' he said. ''Ten years ago bike riding was a specialist activity. Now bike riding is a mainstream activity. Increasingly, government understands that this is a good thing. The City of Sydney has put a lot of money into specialised bike infrastructure and now the State Government is coming into line [with the bike plan], and there's now a national cycling strategy being reworked this year.''

Mr Unwin says there are three reasons for cycling's growth: it is healthy, it is environmentally responsible and it is better to whizz through traffic than sit in it.

''The big growth has come because people who live within five to 10 kilometres from work see it as a smart, quick way to get there because the city is so congested,'' Mr Unwin said. He sees it getting safer too. ''As more people get riding, you get an increased level of awareness … and you get more infrastructure … which make things safer and encourages others to ride bikes.''

1. The Leg Shavers (or Prance Armstrongs)
These near-frictionless obsessives have calves as sleek and hard as skittles and live in a Tour de France of their own minds, racing around city roads, freeways and country carriageways alike in whirring pelotons, stopping only to sip lattes en masse in Darlinghurst cafes, radiant in their eye-scorching yellow Peugeot Spandex and lycra. At Tour time some install stationary bikes in front of their TV and follow the le pack from les Pyrenees to Paris - while still in Pyrmont. Some couriers belong to this group.

2. The ''Fixies'' (or the Nutters)
This group ride fixed-drive bicycles inspired by those used in velodrome racing. Fixed-drive means one single gear and - quite seriously - often no conventional brakes. These oft-bearded loonies aim to achieve a Zen state by anticipating all obstacles and, in regard to traffic lights, laughingly refer to themselves as colour blind. Should stopping become a (reluctant) necessity, Fixies will stop by raising their rear tyre in a sort of agitated and utterly un-Zen-like bunny hop, and then go about jackhammering the road with their front tyre. Like couriers - who make up much of their number - they will, if stopped for more than a moment, twist themselves and their bikes into all sorts of figure-eights just to avoid putting a foot on the road in the apparent belief that the road is suddenly not a road but a nasty snapping shark.

3. The Road Worriers (or the A-to-Beavers)
A diffuse group of everyday commuters riding all manner of pushie, from gleaming drop-handle racer to creaking old faithful. They are motivated to pedal to work for health/economic/green reasons or because of a disillusionment with the public transport system or, just as often, out of a bloodyminded, fist-shaking desire to stick it to what they perceive to be Sydney's casually murderous motorists. Characterised by sensible fluoro safety gear, backpacks for their work clothes and the slightly self-conscious way they wear their tight black stretchy shorts - and, oh, yes, for meandering with sarcastic slowness in the middle of freeway lanes just to show that ''it's my lane too, mate''.

4. The Basket Cases
These homely riders are distinguished by their utilitarian approach. They proceed to and from the corner grocer on a sensible, older-style bicycle with raised handlebars the frame of which is bulked up with bags, baskets and babies. They wear anoraks, signal ostentatiously, know how to affix a pannier, and can be recognised by the ''One car less!'' sticker on their quivering mudguards.

5. The Flat Tyros
Australians own more bikes than cars, and this very large group - who intend to ride to work/shop/end of their driveway but never do - is one of the principal reasons why. Usually found looking wistfully (or resentfully) at cyclists from cars and buses. (A subset here is the Spin Class: people who dress up in all the gear and ride on a stationary bike at the gym in front of MTV).